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Feb 20 2012

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Our greatest joy – and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others.
~Stephen R. Covey

FriendsHealthy relationships are in short supply – would you agree? I’m talking about any relationship between people, whether it be in romance, friendship, business, family, you fill in the blank. Last post I said that life is too short. It definitely is, which really means that we should be putting more value on the relationships in our lives.

It makes me really sad when I see siblings who don’t talk to each other – parents who don’t talk to their kids – kids who are angry at their parents – friends who are no longer friends – business partners who can’t agree, so they part ways and never talk to each other again – spouses who cannot get along – coworkers who talk about each other behind their backs – people who talk down to others – people who mistreat and abuse others. The list goes on and on.

So, what makes a healthy relationship? We definitely know what destroys one! So if we know that, then wouldn’t the opposite be true for a healthy one?

Never let a problem to be solved become more important than the person to be loved.
–Barbara Johnson

Think of a relationship in your life that is not what you would like it to be. Has someone not acted in the manner you thought they should? Have you been hurt by someone? Are you holding onto that hurt – holding a grudge? Do you need to let go? Do you need to forgive and move on? Have you hurt someone? Do you need to go and apologize and ask for forgiveness? Do you have peace in all your relationships? If not, ask yourself how you would feel if that person was no longer here. What emotions would you experience? What regrets would you have?

I was speaking with someone a few months ago about a broken relationship. She has been hurt by the other person and knows that she needs to let go of the hurt. But she told me that it’s “too hard to let go”. My response was, “Yes, it’s hard. But it’s worth it.” I was speaking from experience. I have been deeply hurt by people in my life who were important to me. I have forgiven and moved forward. I have hurt others who were important to me. They have forgiven me; I have apologized. We are moving forward.

People are important. People are too important to carry a grudge. People are too important to discard relationships. Life is too short to not apologize. People are valuable and need to be forgiven. We all make mistakes and no one is perfect. So why not make allowance for others and give them some grace? We all want to be loved – that is probably all we want in a relationship. In a healthy relationship we will love the other person.

Apologizing does not always mean that you’re wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.

So, think of someone you have hurt – go and apologize. Ask for forgiveness. Restore your relationship. It IS worth it! Healthy relationships are worth it!

Think of someone who has hurt you – forgive them. If it seems appropriate, tell them that you’ve forgiven them. Restore the relationship. Love them. It IS worth it. Healthy relationships are worth it!  People are worth it!

Make healthy relationships the most important thing in your life. The only way to maintain healthy relationships is by making them a priority. 

There are times, like there were for me, that you won’t be able to find the strength to forgive or work on a relationship. You will need help. Please contact me to find out how a Growth Coach can help you. It will be worth it!

The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.
-Anthony Robbins

2 comments

  1. Karen Van Riesen

    I saw a sign that said, “Holding a grudge is like letting someone live rent free in your head.”
    You’ve got to keep feeding your grudge to keep it alive – so you must continually revisit it to stoke the coals and keep the fire from going out. What a waste of energy!

    1. Betty

      I have seen that saying also and it’s sooooo true! Not forgiving IS like letting live rent free in your head!

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